Friday 27 August 2021
greeting 15 y/o hannah 2
You're 20 now, you know that?! who thought you could reach here, we will never know our life aite.
You must've been curious about someone you adore back then when you were just 15? ahaks. It was just a hopeless crush hannah, nothing serious about him. You couldn't even care less about him now. But you would've want to know what had happen, i guess?
You met someone other after that. WHO? Someone who has been a friend to you since 13, you're friend with him again when you're 17. You must have been curious enough about that. But yeah nope, it wasn't bound to last too. But you were happy too back then, told you. Thanks to him, he's the reason your last year of high school was brighter. Even it just for a short time.
What had happened?
you couldn't keep him long enough. you used to want having him for the rest of your life, but it's not as easier as that. He had his own journey too.
But you had try your best, you just couldn't do it anymore. Promise yourself you'll know better after this.
How do you feel now?
you were thankful to him, and hoping the best for him too. Now it's just about you and your own self journey. You gotta focus on that.
You still have you.
greeting 15 y/o hannah
Hello bloggie! It has been so long since I last wrote in here, this blog is actually so precious to me, it has been there since 2015 I guess?
When things were so hard back then, this will be place where I will wrote so many things that I couldn't even explain to people. It was a very tough and lonely journey, but writing here make me felt so much better back then. Few people whose also a friend to me will know that i love blogging, writing and stuffs. It has been my kind of thing I guess?
Do you know dear? How I've actually been doing since then. I don't even wrote in here anymore after 2016. Well, maybe because back then we were already focusing too much on Instagram? There was 'Story' feature that can let us share things we wanted to share to people. I also tend to forget about this blog. Had I just kept writing then, maybe this blog will be the witness for my laugh and tears.
My whole life changed so much, it was such a.. i don't know indescribeable feeling, a very tough and hard path that i had to go through. But i was happy, at least i ever felt happy too before then.
Bloggie, I was so happy in 2018. I think among all of the years in my life, 2018 has the happiest version of me. But how would I know it will actually be the last?
Stuffs begin to hit me like a truck. I lost my dear atuk, nenek. Yes. I lost nenek, you know right.. she's the person i would tell people I love her the most in this world? yes. To me, she was my number one. The kind of person that you always have them in the most special place in your heart. You don't have idea about that, right? You must have been flustered.
Sorry that it took too long to go back to you. It already been 3 years since they passed away. I remember crying in night class when someone asked me to pack my thing because my granny passed away. Allah, i felt like i could just faint right there. I was literally in disbelief, crying, persuading and forcing aimi & wardah to say that it's not her, i wasn't ready.
You were so shocked back then, it was the thing you feared the most. Losing someone you loved while you're away from them. Both of them, you couldn't see them before their last breath..
But that night, little did i know it really wasn't her but atuk instead. I was more shocked still. I went up and look out for nenek. I broke down right after i saw her and straightly went to hug her. I was so scared, i was never ready to lost any of them.
but, nenek passed away too a month after. Just 3 days before SPM examination. wow, how strong are you lil hannah to bear everything life brought you. It was then everything starts to get rough.
The happiness faded.